Well....

And just as quickly as that, my brief stint as a bake shop manager has ended. This simply was not the right place for me. There was more focus on the 'punk rock attitude' and knowing who the chef made cakes for, than the organic, local etc.

Oh well... sometimes things don't work out. From day one, this felt wrong for me, and I struggled with serious anxiety the entire time I was there. The employees were calling me and emailing me all day long, and I didn't want the constant responsibility. I know some people may think that I took the easy way out, or that I'm being risky, or lazy, or whatever by just leaving, but I'm trusting in God to work this into something good.

I have learned - again - a lot about myself, which is really the point, right? I have learned that my priorities are to be a good wife, and hopefully soon become a good mother. I'd love to get pregnant, (which I never though I'd say, but I'm going to be 32 this November!!) and I know that won't happen while I am covered in stress.

So - that's that - and I know that this is just another season in my life. God has shown me great things, and I know that this is just another step along the way to even greater things. I continue to look forward to the future, and I'm excited about getting back to what I love most, cooking and baking for my family.

Now - on to the rest of this wonderfully relaxing day off and a cinnamon swirl bread that's calling my name!

How sweet it is!

God is so good! My prayers for a new job have been answered and I have landed a great opportunity as the Store Manager a bake shop in Oak Park, Ill, just a few miles from our house. After two hours of commuting every day, I will be happy to have a ten minute commute.

In my time at the consulting company, I've learned a lot about myself. I finished two years of therapy, planned my wedding, purchased a house and other big things while working there. I am so glad I won't be growing my 'secretary ass' any more while I sit. and sit. and sit. and sit. and do nothing. I feel like all the pieces are falling into place, and I am so grateful for this opportunity, and I often can't believe it's really happening.

I'll be happy to be back in the world of Hospitality and Food Service. I love being able to connect with people over food, and I know that my enthusiasm and passion, especially for sweets, will take me places. The training days kicked my butt, and standing up all day again will take some getting used to, but I'm ready for the challenges.

The bakery where I'll be working is on the rise, becoming more popular and famous by the day. They have a TV show or two being filmed there this month, (though I may not be on TV), they are organic and 'conscious' of their contribution on the environment, and they're just cool people. I can't wait to get started for sure! I know that it will be hard work, but I know that I can do it!

I'm trusting in God to continue to direct my feet in this journey, and to help me over come any doubts or fears I may have. My first official day is tomorrow, Tues 4/20, and I look forward to the future!

Easter Feaster!

Okay! It's time! Let's talk about food!!

Lately, in my hours of 'free time' at work, I have been immersed in the 'blogosphere'! Sounds so futuristic, doesn't it? Most of the blogs I follow are about food, of course, so I'm finding lots of inspirations for the upcoming weekends. I wish I could just bake and try new things all day.

Side note: I would like to mention, I have debated starting a food blog because I want to be sensitive to, and aware of the starvation and struggle of a lot of people in this world, in my neighborhood... I don't intend to be disrespectful of that, I simply want to talk about what interests me, and what I'm passionate about...

This weekend is one of my favorite holidays : Easter, we have lots of reasons to celebrate! This year, 4/4 commemorates one year that my husband Eric and I have been home owners! Our house was a foreclosure when we bought it, and it has had so many changes and improvements over the last year. I am really happy with our house, it's the perfect retreat when I get home from downtown, and I always enjoy being home. I look forward to this Spring, getting new windows (hopefully!) and screen doors on the front and back so we can enjoy the breeze and sunshine.

To celebrate this weekend, we will be making our traditional Easter Ham, which Eric likes to marinate with Dr. Pepper (never tried it? Oh you should...)

From Casa de Valderrama

Though last week, my attempt to make ciabatta was an epic fail, I think I'll try to make challah from this recipe at How to Eat a Cupcake. I also like the recipe posted for Limoncello bread pudding, yum!! However, in continuation of my cheesecake phase,(and because I have the ingredients already), I think it's time for a peanut butter cheesecake... with chocolate sauce of course... Pork and cheesecake, Hamm and Bublé , I think we'll be all right!

now taking suggestions for sides... and hoping for a beautiful sunny Sunday!
Happy Easter!

The resurrection gives my life meaning and direction and the opportunity to start over no matter what my circumstances. ~ Robert Flatt

Be not afraid!

Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go. Joshua 1:9

I originally set up this blog over a year ago with the intention of talking about my struggles with Generalized Anxiety Disorder. When I first began editing this site, I felt like...Who wants to read that? Who cares about my story?

Well, I've decided it's time for me to talk about what I've been through, and what has helped me, in the hopes that it helps others know that they are not alone with their anxieties! I have been agonized with anxiety, sick to my stomach with worry, unable to sleep or shut down my mind, I've been through it all. I'm not where I want to be yet, but I thank God I'm better than I was!

I first realized I had anxiety in October 2007, after I was assaulted at work by another employee. I was shocked and paralyzed during the whole thing, and I remember thinking "I'm getting beat up right now! I've never been punched before!"

Following this incident, I immediately left my job, and for a few days, I was afraid to leave the house. I was afraid to take the train or even wear a hood in the winter, for fear that I would be hit from behind. I was having frequent panic attacks, moments of such intense fear that I could hardly breathe and I was unable to calm myself down. I began Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, and continued for about 2 years.

Therapy was painful, visceral, emotional and eye opening, but it helped me conquer some MAJOR fears I had, establish healthier relationships and start to believe in myself and to show that to others. Already, I have overcome SO much!

During my struggle with anxiety, I have (re)discovered that I really enjoy cooking and especially baking. It's relaxing to me, and I hope to share more of my 'hobby' with you! I love love love food, making, eating it, talking about it, avoiding exercising because of it...

I'm new to writing my own blog, but I hope to soon share pictures, recipes, websites, music... talk about love and marriage, life and faith, et cetera! I'm open to any suggestions and I hope you'll leave comments. Thanks for reading, friends!